Fort-One

Is anybody out there?

Are you death,
to my pain?
i cannot wait,
unbearable.

Forty...

Somethings never change...

i'm not a creature of habit,
i'm a creature of addiction.

Thirty-Nine

X

I Was Wrong- Acoustic Cover

Thought I would give it a go...

Thirty-Eight

i just want to give in,
to sweet debauchery.
To feel the freedom,
of not feeling.
Is it wrong to cope,
with all the pain.
i just want an escape,
i just want an escape.

Thirty-Seven

i have never felt so alone,
estranged from the world.
Friends reach out,
i push away.
It is not because,
they do not care.
i am the one who is apathetic,
i do not want help.
i just want an escape...

Thirty-Six

They say every moment,
you have a choice to make.

Sink or swim.

i feel like i am sinking,
that i am avoiding a choice.

Truth or dare.

The truth of my situation,
is holding me back.
i want to be daring and,
take the risk.

Live or exist.

i want to live in the truth,
i want to shout it aloud.
The world should know,
just how i feel.
The world should know,
how you make me feel.

live...

Thirty-Five

If you would ask a few,
they would not describe me,
as the charming type.

Maybe they would say,
i was the funny guy,
who would make you smile.

A nice guy who well,
is not all together wonderful,
but he is trustworthy.

"He would never hurt you,
you would probably hurt him,
in the end it wouldn't work."

i am not overly confident,
rather i am self conscious,
i never get things right.

It is different around you,
i feel calm and at ease,
comfortable to be myself.

You are cute and sweet,
compassionate and fun,
lively and lovely.

But what i love about you,
is none of these things,
but how i feel about myself,
around you...

Thirty-Four

i have been thinking lately,
about what would be said.
What would be said after,
i breathed my last breath.
Does anybody really know me,
enough to write my eulogy.
Do you think you know me,
because i don't think you do.
These aren't morbid thoughts,
but just my curiosity.
The really scary thought is,
what if i am right about this.
What if no one knows me,
i guess you can make it up.

Thirty-Three

Sometimes i wonder,
why i cannot get it right?
If my faith is pure and
real as i claim it to be.
i believe that i do believe,
but this mountain stands firm.
Do i need to grow or give,
act or just stand still?
i want my mountain to move,
but it stands between us.
Mustard seeds never seemed,
so large to me...

Thirty-Two

Alone in crowded rooms,
isolated in conversation.
Afraid to take a chance,
to say "how do you do?"
Am i destined to be alone,
in this meaningless life.

Some things never change.

Thirty-One

Our screams go unheard,
until it is far too late.
Funeral eulogies readings,
he always seemed okay.
Why do you not care,
are our lives a burden?

Thirty

i will never know the pain,
that you felt at Calvary.
The pain of being flogged,
and beaten for my sins.

i will never know the humiliation
that you felt at Calvary.
The humiliation of being spat upon,
and mocked for my sins.

i will never know the burden,
that you felt at Calvary.
The burden of the weight,
of my cross for my sins.

i will never know the seperation,
that you felt at Calvary.
The seperation from your father,
the pain, humilation, burden of seperation.

Twenty-Nine

Lets lay beneath the stars,
and never say a word.
Forgetting about our worlds,
and forgetting our lives.

Run towards the horizon,
it all will end tonight.

Twenty-Eight

It is all too familiar,
awaking in mid dream.
Surrendering my fantasy,
to the wake of reality.
Why cannot i get back,
back to you my love.
We were so close,
from being so far away.
i guess for now you will reside,
in my dreams...

...my dream girl...

Twenty-Seven

Yesterday,
i lay awake
and scared.
Crippled,
by my mind,
killing me.
Drowning,
in my own,
expecations.
Today,
i will not,
sleep...

Twenty-Six

This town is dead,
it's residents are corpses.
Floating through life,
as if no one exists.
Main street is alone,
a transit of despair.
Channeling people,
to a life not worth living.

i am going to run,
run so far away.
Leave it all behind,
did it matter anyway?

Twenty-Five

You will awake,
to tragic news.
The question is,
what will you do?
Will you laugh or cry,
celebrate or rejoice?
Would it make a difference,
will you notice at all?
Will the sight of a corpse,
frighten you?
The stiff unbending body,
leaving you unnerved?
It wont bother me...

Twenty-Four

Walking,
stumbling through life.
Staggering and falling,
over my own dignity.

My tongue,
painting vivid pictures.
Of my hypocrisy and
failure of life.

Why do you even bother,
with me...

Twenty-Three

i don't mind pain,
if it has purpose.
i would live in misery,
so all could feel joy.
What kills me though,
is this pain without purpose.

my life...

Twenty-Two

Down, down, down...
how low can we go?

Twenty-One

"I'm okay..."
the great American lie,
spread by dreams of prosperity.
How can we prosper,
if we are dying from the inside.
Why are so afraid,
to admit we are messed up?
Well guess what,
i'm okay too...

Twenty

Sometimes i think,
i would be better off.
Isolated forever,
no more contact.
A life without others,
is life without disappointment...

Art Two

Nineteen

If i was to write a book,
about my life experience.
You would be left in awe,
and possible disbelief.
The depression,
drugs and alcohol.
Letters saying goodbye,
for the final time.
Never knowing if i would,
i would die alone.
My misguided anger,
and blinding inebriation.
Happiness masqueraded by,
billows of cigarette and pot smoke.
The surprising thing is,
all of this occurred after i met Christ.
You do not know my pain...

Art 1

Eighteen

Why do we lay on our backs,
as our society gets raped?

100,000 teenage suicide attempts,
year to date!
Do they need to cry louder,
can you still not hear?

Why do we lay on our backs,
as our society gets raped?

22 percent of children are killed,
before they had chance to breath.
Is there no more love,
for the unlovely?

Why do we lay on our backs,
as our society gets raped?

Another person has become,
dependent to a substance.
Why do we look away,
to those who need us most?

Why do we lay on our backs,
as our society gets raped?

13 million of our children,
lay in poverished conditions.
In a country with such wealth,
how can we let our children die?

Why do we lay on our backs,
as our society gets raped?

Seventeen

Is it wrong to hate,
seeing you happy?
When i am all alone,
your with him.
i have nothing left,
except my self doubt.
Clinging to my inequities,
i drown.

Sixteen

May 5 1993,
horror struck a town.
Three boys lay dead,
beaten and bound.
Hysteria broke out,
like in Salem years ago.
Witches they sought,
from which they sow.
Ideas of a sacrifice,
to please the damned.
Procedure ignored,
the gavel was slammed.
Now they lie and wait,
to their false apprehension.
due to stupid fear,
and superstition.

Fifteen

Define the great lines,
the reality of you and me.
How can we decide our future,
if we cannot see?
Our blind inequity,
has led us astray.
To hate, to greed, to war,
we need you to lead the way.

We lay down our lives,
to the one who lost his.

It seems we are always mourning,
the death of a teen.
We are land of walking dead,
kept alive by caffeine.
What happened to life worth living,
what happened to raw love?
Are we alone in this search,
for the man above?

We lay down our lives,
to the one who lost his.

Fourteen

There is no more compromising,
we are taking back what is ours.
The kingdom of God does not,
belong to you slithering snakes.

We have stood back and watched,
as we were casted out of His heart.
Made to worship the eternal Father,
so lost without his presence.

Thirteen

Throw me to the wolves,
let them devour my flesh.
Watch and point as they tear,
my flesh from my bones.
Laugh as the crows come,
to finish what is left.
Leaving nothing,
but my bear bones.

What becomes of my soul?