The Ghost Psalmist

Forty-One

2010-06-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

A nightmare, a curse,
imagine the worse,
day of your life.

A demon, a ghost,
or heavenly host,
comes to take you away.

Fort-One

2009-11-10T23:13:00.000-08:00

Is anybody out there?

Are you death,
to my pain?
i cannot wait,
unbearable.

Forty...

2009-11-10T23:12:00.001-08:00

Somethings never change...

i'm not a creature of habit,
i'm a creature of addiction.

Thirty-Nine

2009-10-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

I Was Wrong- Acoustic Cover

2009-09-18T13:53:00.001-07:00

Thought I would give it a go...

Thirty-Eight

2009-09-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

i just want to give in,
to sweet debauchery.
To feel the freedom,
of not feeling.
Is it wrong to cope,
with all the pain.
i just want an escape,
i just want an escape.

Thirty-Seven

2009-09-15T20:41:00.000-07:00

i have never felt so alone,
estranged from the world.
Friends reach out,
i push away.
It is not because,
they do not care.
i am the one who is apathetic,
i do not want help.
i just want an escape...

Thirty-Six

2009-09-08T21:47:00.000-07:00

They say every moment,
you have a choice to make.

Sink or swim.

i feel like i am sinking,
that i am avoiding a choice.

Truth or dare.

The truth of my situation,
is holding me back.
i want to be daring and,
take the risk.

Live or exist.

i want to live in the truth,
i want to shout it aloud.
The world should know,
just how i feel.
The world should know,
how you make me feel.

live...

Thirty-Five

2009-09-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

If you would ask a few,
they would not describe me,
as the charming type.

Maybe they would say,
i was the funny guy,
who would make you smile.

A nice guy who well,
is not all together wonderful,
but he is trustworthy.

"He would never hurt you,
you would probably hurt him,
in the end it wouldn't work."

i am not overly confident,
rather i am self conscious,
i never get things right.

It is different around you,
i feel calm and at ease,
comfortable to be myself.

You are cute and sweet,
compassionate and fun,
lively and lovely.

But what i love about you,
is none of these things,
but how i feel about myself,
around you...

Thirty-Four

2009-09-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

i have been thinking lately,
about what would be said.
What would be said after,
i breathed my last breath.
Does anybody really know me,
enough to write my eulogy.
Do you think you know me,
because i don't think you do.
These aren't morbid thoughts,
but just my curiosity.
The really scary thought is,
what if i am right about this.
What if no one knows me,
i guess you can make it up.

Thirty-Three

2009-09-03T21:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i wonder,
why i cannot get it right?
If my faith is pure and
real as i claim it to be.
i believe that i do believe,
but this mountain stands firm.
Do i need to grow or give,
act or just stand still?
i want my mountain to move,
but it stands between us.
Mustard seeds never seemed,
so large to me...

Thirty-Two

2009-09-03T21:10:00.000-07:00

Alone in crowded rooms,
isolated in conversation.
Afraid to take a chance,
to say "how do you do?"
Am i destined to be alone,
in this meaningless life.

Some things never change.

Thirty-One

2009-08-31T19:59:00.000-07:00

Our screams go unheard,
until it is far too late.
Funeral eulogies readings,
he always seemed okay.
Why do you not care,
are our lives a burden?

Thirty

2009-08-29T19:33:00.000-07:00

i will never know the pain,
that you felt at Calvary.
The pain of being flogged,
and beaten for my sins.

i will never know the humiliation
that you felt at Calvary.
The humiliation of being spat upon,
and mocked for my sins.

i will never know the burden,
that you felt at Calvary.
The burden of the weight,
of my cross for my sins.

i will never know the seperation,
that you felt at Calvary.
The seperation from your father,
the pain, humilation, burden of seperation.

Twenty-Nine

2009-08-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

Lets lay beneath the stars,
and never say a word.
Forgetting about our worlds,
and forgetting our lives.

Run towards the horizon,
it all will end tonight.

Twenty-Eight

2009-08-26T22:02:00.000-07:00

It is all too familiar,
awaking in mid dream.
Surrendering my fantasy,
to the wake of reality.
Why cannot i get back,
back to you my love.
We were so close,
from being so far away.
i guess for now you will reside,
in my dreams...

...my dream girl...

Twenty-Seven

2009-08-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday,
i lay awake
and scared.
Crippled,
by my mind,
killing me.
Drowning,
in my own,
expecations.
Today,
i will not,
sleep...

Twenty-Six

2009-08-16T17:28:00.000-07:00

This town is dead,
it's residents are corpses.
Floating through life,
as if no one exists.
Main street is alone,
a transit of despair.
Channeling people,
to a life not worth living.

i am going to run,
run so far away.
Leave it all behind,
did it matter anyway?

Twenty-Five

2009-08-16T17:23:00.001-07:00

You will awake,
to tragic news.
The question is,
what will you do?
Will you laugh or cry,
celebrate or rejoice?
Would it make a difference,
will you notice at all?
Will the sight of a corpse,
frighten you?
The stiff unbending body,
leaving you unnerved?
It wont bother me...

Twenty-Four

2009-08-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

Walking,
stumbling through life.
Staggering and falling,
over my own dignity.

My tongue,
painting vivid pictures.
Of my hypocrisy and
failure of life.

Why do you even bother,
with me...

Twenty-Three

2009-08-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

i don't mind pain,
if it has purpose.
i would live in misery,
so all could feel joy.
What kills me though,
is this pain without purpose.

my life...

Twenty-Two

2009-08-01T16:09:00.000-07:00

Down, down, down...
how low can we go?

Twenty-One

2009-08-01T16:03:00.000-07:00

"I'm okay..."
the great American lie,
spread by dreams of prosperity.
How can we prosper,
if we are dying from the inside.
Why are so afraid,
to admit we are messed up?
Well guess what,
i'm okay too...

Twenty

2009-08-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i think,
i would be better off.
Isolated forever,
no more contact.
A life without others,
is life without disappointment...

Art Two

2009-05-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

Nineteen

2009-04-19T18:21:00.001-07:00

If i was to write a book,
about my life experience.
You would be left in awe,
and possible disbelief.
The depression,
drugs and alcohol.
Letters saying goodbye,
for the final time.
Never knowing if i would,
i would die alone.
My misguided anger,
and blinding inebriation.
Happiness masqueraded by,
billows of cigarette and pot smoke.
The surprising thing is,
all of this occurred after i met Christ.
You do not know my pain...

Art 1

2009-04-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

Eighteen

2009-03-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

Why do we lay on our backs,
as our society gets raped?

100,000 teenage suicide attempts,
year to date!
Do they need to cry louder,
can you still not hear?

Why do we lay on our backs,
as our society gets raped?

22 percent of children are killed,
before they had chance to breath.
Is there no more love,
for the unlovely?

Why do we lay on our backs,
as our society gets raped?

Another person has become,
dependent to a substance.
Why do we look away,
to those who need us most?

Why do we lay on our backs,
as our society gets raped?

13 million of our children,
lay in poverished conditions.
In a country with such wealth,
how can we let our children die?

Why do we lay on our backs,
as our society gets raped?

Seventeen

2009-02-25T18:51:00.000-08:00

Is it wrong to hate,
seeing you happy?
When i am all alone,
your with him.
i have nothing left,
except my self doubt.
Clinging to my inequities,
i drown.

Sixteen

2009-02-11T20:36:00.000-08:00

May 5 1993,
horror struck a town.
Three boys lay dead,
beaten and bound.
Hysteria broke out,
like in Salem years ago.
Witches they sought,
from which they sow.
Ideas of a sacrifice,
to please the damned.
Procedure ignored,
the gavel was slammed.
Now they lie and wait,
to their false apprehension.
due to stupid fear,
and superstition.

Fifteen

2009-02-01T01:24:00.000-08:00

Define the great lines,
the reality of you and me.
How can we decide our future,
if we cannot see?
Our blind inequity,
has led us astray.
To hate, to greed, to war,
we need you to lead the way.

We lay down our lives,
to the one who lost his.

It seems we are always mourning,
the death of a teen.
We are land of walking dead,
kept alive by caffeine.
What happened to life worth living,
what happened to raw love?
Are we alone in this search,
for the man above?

We lay down our lives,
to the one who lost his.

Fourteen

2009-01-23T21:15:00.000-08:00

There is no more compromising,
we are taking back what is ours.
The kingdom of God does not,
belong to you slithering snakes.

We have stood back and watched,
as we were casted out of His heart.
Made to worship the eternal Father,
so lost without his presence.

Thirteen

2009-01-21T18:51:00.000-08:00

Throw me to the wolves,
let them devour my flesh.
Watch and point as they tear,
my flesh from my bones.
Laugh as the crows come,
to finish what is left.
Leaving nothing,
but my bear bones.

What becomes of my soul?

Twelve

2008-12-31T22:44:00.000-08:00

We have strayed so far from your vision,
so far from a life in and for your heart.
Jesus entrusted us to watch His flock,
yet we are tending to our personal needs.
If we do not care for the unlovely,
if we do not care for the sick and impoverished,
who will?
The world?

Eleven

2008-12-22T20:24:00.000-08:00

i see you from a distance,
yet you hardly notice me.
What does it take to,
win your affection?
Life could be so grand,
if we would be.
You could be my everthing,
and i could be yours.

Ten

2008-12-21T19:36:00.000-08:00

redeem your people,
we need you LOVE.
wipe our tears and
comfort our every moment.

i want to live,
to see the day.
when LOVE comes,
back for us.

we are so hurting,
all we want is LOVE.
hold us close,
and never let go.

i want to live,
to see the day.
when LOVE comes,
back for us.

Nine

2008-12-14T19:05:00.000-08:00

You are spotlight,
of the room.
i am the second,
thought of a crowd.
Your beauty surpasses,
my imagination.
keeping me up,
at night.
When will i build up,
the courage,
to tell you how i feel?
When will you find out,
my true feelings?
Reject or love me,
on thing is true.
These feelings,
I have for you.

Eight

2008-12-10T07:15:00.000-08:00

It is hard to find,
the good inside me.
When i rendezvous,
with my mind.
So many past mistakes,
that shape my present.
Where did everything,
crash and fall apart.

I will run back to the one,
whose arms are wide open.

Seven

2008-12-05T10:12:00.000-08:00

All you need is one,
just one to tell you.
That you are beautiful,
how you light up the room.

i could be your one
and you mine.

All you need is one,
just one to show you.
That everything is okay,
embracing you tightly.

i could be your one
and you mine.

All you need is one,
just one to care for you.
All of your days,
for the rest of your life.

i could be your one,
and you mine.

All i need is courage,
to take a chance.
To step off the ledge
and into the unknown.

Will you be mine
and i yours?

Six

2008-11-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

A crowded room,
and i am alone.
Is it my fate ,
or just my reality?

It is frighting how loud the silence gets.

A table fit for a feast,
there is no one to talk to.
Is it my fate,
or just my reality?

It is frighting how loud the silence gets.

When will it get easier,
to cope with loneliness?
Is it my fate,
or just my reality?

It is frighting how loud the silence gets.

Five

2008-10-15T18:38:00.000-07:00

i would rather be
a Martyr,
than a Saint.

Who can compare,
to your majesty?
All who look,
can see you.
Nothing i can do,
compares to your sacrifice.

i would rather be
a Martyr,
than a Saint.

Now is the time,
send me on my way.
i will do your will,
no matter the cost.
i have nothing to fear,
if i have you.

i would rather be
a Martyr,
than a Saint.

Four

2008-10-14T18:42:00.000-07:00

Turn and walk away,
as i see all i have done,
burn to the ground.

How could i think that,
i could match your majesty?
Unworthy to untie your sandals,
perfection i cannot reach.

Turn and walk away,
as i see all i have done,
burn to the ground.

When did grace cease,
to be amazing?
Am i that self righteous,
trying to make it on my own.

Turn and walk away,
as i see all i have done,
burn to the ground.

i need you my Saviour,
please redeem my soul.
i cannot earn my salvation,
bring me back tonight.

Turn and walk away,
as i see all i have done,
burn to the ground.

Starting over is,
never easy.
Help me build future,
over my torched past.

Turn and walk away,
as i see all i have done,
burn to the ground,
burn to the ground,
burn...

Three

2008-10-13T18:16:00.000-07:00

What have i become,
how far have i strayed?
That i would disown,
my own saviours name.
Even the demons believe,
and shudder at His name.

What have i become,
how far have i strayed?
Can i change the world,
if i am still afraid.
Even the demons believe,
and shudder at His name.

What have i become,
how far have i strayed?
Am i any better,
than the damned in hell?
Even the demons believe,
and shudder at his name.

What have i become,
how far have i strayed?
Forgive me father,
because...
Even the demons believe,
and shudder at His name.

Two

2008-10-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

How weak I must look,
compared to your son.
He lived a blameless life,
for all to be freed.
The agony my sin,
causes me.
Cannot be compared,
to the pain of cross.
The pain of separation,
that death must bring.
Although, I rejoice
for you conquered death.
Tomorrow I will try,
to conqueror my sin.
Be with me,
as I am tempted.
Keep me strong
and forever free.

One

2008-10-09T19:08:00.000-07:00

When will you come back,
for those you redeemed?
Do you not see our pain,
our desperate need of rain?
You have delivered me,
from ever trial thus far.
Yet I still live in fear,
of pain and isolation.
Jesus, set me free
from my misery.

The Name

2008-10-09T19:01:00.000-07:00

So unless you are Ande Thomas you a probably wondering where I got the name, "The Ghost Psalmist." It is a reference to one of my favourite bands Zao and a song they wrote, The Ghost Psalm. Dan Wyandent's lyrics have been described as "hopelessly depressed, yet ever optimistic" and that is what I try to capture in my writing.

Here is the lyrics to the song...

Realization comes through reaping
Reality contained in quite
My companions are walking corpses
I am buried with their words (5x)
Buried with your words
Turned their backs on me
Scared to see the ghost
Turned and walked away
Scared to see the ghost(Time to go one last look, one last touch. A ghost to those I love)
Time to go one last look, one last touch.
Goodbye to those I love
Time to go one last look, one last touch.
Realization comes through reaping
Reality contained in quite
My companions are walking corpses
I am buried with their words (5x)
So close
So close to separation
A ghost without a grave
A ghost without a name
So close

Prologue

2008-10-09T18:48:00.000-07:00

I am starting this blog because I love to write. Almost everyday I write a new song or poem but I rarely ever share it. I want that to change. I want to be more open with those who know me the best. So here it is, I am almost always depressed but I find my hope in Jesus. My poetry is can be a little dark but this is how I express myself, I never act on my thoughts. I get my emotion out by writing and that is completely healthy. In fact, most of my writing is my direct prayer dialogue to God. After I am down writing/praying I am relieved and refreshed.

What I am saying is please do not worry about me. I hate that. I am okay, I am just posting my writing to let you get a glimpse of me that you do not get to see often.