Forty-One

A nightmare, a curse,
imagine the worse,
day of your life.

A demon, a ghost,
or heavenly host,
comes to take you away.

Fort-One

Is anybody out there?

Are you death,
to my pain?
i cannot wait,
unbearable.

Forty...

Somethings never change...

i'm not a creature of habit,
i'm a creature of addiction.

Thirty-Nine

X

I Was Wrong- Acoustic Cover

Thought I would give it a go...

Thirty-Eight

i just want to give in,
to sweet debauchery.
To feel the freedom,
of not feeling.
Is it wrong to cope,
with all the pain.
i just want an escape,
i just want an escape.

Thirty-Seven

i have never felt so alone,
estranged from the world.
Friends reach out,
i push away.
It is not because,
they do not care.
i am the one who is apathetic,
i do not want help.
i just want an escape...

Thirty-Six

They say every moment,
you have a choice to make.

Sink or swim.

i feel like i am sinking,
that i am avoiding a choice.

Truth or dare.

The truth of my situation,
is holding me back.
i want to be daring and,
take the risk.

Live or exist.

i want to live in the truth,
i want to shout it aloud.
The world should know,
just how i feel.
The world should know,
how you make me feel.

live...

Thirty-Five

If you would ask a few,
they would not describe me,
as the charming type.

Maybe they would say,
i was the funny guy,
who would make you smile.

A nice guy who well,
is not all together wonderful,
but he is trustworthy.

"He would never hurt you,
you would probably hurt him,
in the end it wouldn't work."

i am not overly confident,
rather i am self conscious,
i never get things right.

It is different around you,
i feel calm and at ease,
comfortable to be myself.

You are cute and sweet,
compassionate and fun,
lively and lovely.

But what i love about you,
is none of these things,
but how i feel about myself,
around you...

Thirty-Four

i have been thinking lately,
about what would be said.
What would be said after,
i breathed my last breath.
Does anybody really know me,
enough to write my eulogy.
Do you think you know me,
because i don't think you do.
These aren't morbid thoughts,
but just my curiosity.
The really scary thought is,
what if i am right about this.
What if no one knows me,
i guess you can make it up.

Thirty-Three

Sometimes i wonder,
why i cannot get it right?
If my faith is pure and
real as i claim it to be.
i believe that i do believe,
but this mountain stands firm.
Do i need to grow or give,
act or just stand still?
i want my mountain to move,
but it stands between us.
Mustard seeds never seemed,
so large to me...

Thirty-Two

Alone in crowded rooms,
isolated in conversation.
Afraid to take a chance,
to say "how do you do?"
Am i destined to be alone,
in this meaningless life.

Some things never change.

Thirty-One

Our screams go unheard,
until it is far too late.
Funeral eulogies readings,
he always seemed okay.
Why do you not care,
are our lives a burden?

Thirty

i will never know the pain,
that you felt at Calvary.
The pain of being flogged,
and beaten for my sins.

i will never know the humiliation
that you felt at Calvary.
The humiliation of being spat upon,
and mocked for my sins.

i will never know the burden,
that you felt at Calvary.
The burden of the weight,
of my cross for my sins.

i will never know the seperation,
that you felt at Calvary.
The seperation from your father,
the pain, humilation, burden of seperation.

Twenty-Nine

Lets lay beneath the stars,
and never say a word.
Forgetting about our worlds,
and forgetting our lives.

Run towards the horizon,
it all will end tonight.

Twenty-Eight

It is all too familiar,
awaking in mid dream.
Surrendering my fantasy,
to the wake of reality.
Why cannot i get back,
back to you my love.
We were so close,
from being so far away.
i guess for now you will reside,
in my dreams...

...my dream girl...

Twenty-Seven

Yesterday,
i lay awake
and scared.
Crippled,
by my mind,
killing me.
Drowning,
in my own,
expecations.
Today,
i will not,
sleep...

Twenty-Six

This town is dead,
it's residents are corpses.
Floating through life,
as if no one exists.
Main street is alone,
a transit of despair.
Channeling people,
to a life not worth living.

i am going to run,
run so far away.
Leave it all behind,
did it matter anyway?

Twenty-Five

You will awake,
to tragic news.
The question is,
what will you do?
Will you laugh or cry,
celebrate or rejoice?
Would it make a difference,
will you notice at all?
Will the sight of a corpse,
frighten you?
The stiff unbending body,
leaving you unnerved?
It wont bother me...

Twenty-Four

Walking,
stumbling through life.
Staggering and falling,
over my own dignity.

My tongue,
painting vivid pictures.
Of my hypocrisy and
failure of life.

Why do you even bother,
with me...