Five

i would rather be
a Martyr,
than a Saint.

Who can compare,
to your majesty?
All who look,
can see you.
Nothing i can do,
compares to your sacrifice.

i would rather be
a Martyr,
than a Saint.

Now is the time,
send me on my way.
i will do your will,
no matter the cost.
i have nothing to fear,
if i have you.

i would rather be
a Martyr,
than a Saint.

Four

Turn and walk away,
as i see all i have done,
burn to the ground.

How could i think that,
i could match your majesty?
Unworthy to untie your sandals,
perfection i cannot reach.

Turn and walk away,
as i see all i have done,
burn to the ground.

When did grace cease,
to be amazing?
Am i that self righteous,
trying to make it on my own.

Turn and walk away,
as i see all i have done,
burn to the ground.

i need you my Saviour,
please redeem my soul.
i cannot earn my salvation,
bring me back tonight.

Turn and walk away,
as i see all i have done,
burn to the ground.

Starting over is,
never easy.
Help me build future,
over my torched past.

Turn and walk away,
as i see all i have done,
burn to the ground,
burn to the ground,
burn...

Three

What have i become,
how far have i strayed?
That i would disown,
my own saviours name.
Even the demons believe,
and shudder at His name.

What have i become,
how far have i strayed?
Can i change the world,
if i am still afraid.
Even the demons believe,
and shudder at His name.

What have i become,
how far have i strayed?
Am i any better,
than the damned in hell?
Even the demons believe,
and shudder at his name.

What have i become,
how far have i strayed?
Forgive me father,
because...
Even the demons believe,
and shudder at His name.

Two

How weak I must look,
compared to your son.
He lived a blameless life,
for all to be freed.
The agony my sin,
causes me.
Cannot be compared,
to the pain of cross.
The pain of separation,
that death must bring.
Although, I rejoice
for you conquered death.
Tomorrow I will try,
to conqueror my sin.
Be with me,
as I am tempted.
Keep me strong
and forever free.

One

When will you come back,
for those you redeemed?
Do you not see our pain,
our desperate need of rain?
You have delivered me,
from ever trial thus far.
Yet I still live in fear,
of pain and isolation.
Jesus, set me free
from my misery.

The Name

So unless you are Ande Thomas you a probably wondering where I got the name, "The Ghost Psalmist." It is a reference to one of my favourite bands Zao and a song they wrote, The Ghost Psalm. Dan Wyandent's lyrics have been described as "hopelessly depressed, yet ever optimistic" and that is what I try to capture in my writing.

Here is the lyrics to the song...

Realization comes through reaping
Reality contained in quite
My companions are walking corpses
I am buried with their words (5x)
Buried with your words
Turned their backs on me
Scared to see the ghost
Turned and walked away
Scared to see the ghost(Time to go one last look, one last touch. A ghost to those I love)
Time to go one last look, one last touch.
Goodbye to those I love
Time to go one last look, one last touch.
Realization comes through reaping
Reality contained in quite
My companions are walking corpses
I am buried with their words (5x)
So close
So close to separation
A ghost without a grave
A ghost without a name
So close

Prologue

I am starting this blog because I love to write. Almost everyday I write a new song or poem but I rarely ever share it. I want that to change. I want to be more open with those who know me the best. So here it is, I am almost always depressed but I find my hope in Jesus. My poetry is can be a little dark but this is how I express myself, I never act on my thoughts. I get my emotion out by writing and that is completely healthy. In fact, most of my writing is my direct prayer dialogue to God. After I am down writing/praying I am relieved and refreshed.

What I am saying is please do not worry about me. I hate that. I am okay, I am just posting my writing to let you get a glimpse of me that you do not get to see often.